thisisnotreallyablogforreal

I WON the Shark Show's Battle of the Funny Bands! Okay, Leibya Rogers won, but it was me underneath the mullet wig and man shorts.

So take that scary Anne Geddes wall calendar down and circle June 7th because you just have to come to my EP Release Show for Leibya Rogers now since she/we won the title "Funniest band in New York," right? Yes!

In other news, I'm not 21 anymore. I just got back from Miami last night. It was for my younger sister's bachelorette party. Early Saturday morning I found myself covered in black light sitting on a fuzzy leopard print couch watching my sister and her friends dance to music I'd never heard before while worrying that the steady flashing of the strobe light might induce a seizure. Then I turned around and scolded a guy like a dog who was trying to grab my ass with a "No!" "I said, NO!" "Go on on now, shoo!" Um yeah . . . please re-read the first sentence of this paragraph.

And this month check out a little preview when I/Leibya compete in the final round of:

The Shark Show's Battle of the Funny Bands
This Saturday
8PM
Mo Pitkins

out of Manhattan. I just realized as I was peeing in a brand new Starbucks in Carrol Gardens that the bathroom was the same size as my bedroom.

The bathroom at Starbucks is the same size as my bedroom.

The bathroom in my brother's apartment in Boston is also bigger than my bedroom.

His bathroom is bigger than my bedroom.

So, basically I've been living in a really conveniently located bathroom for almost two years. No, I've been living in a really conveniently located small bathroom for almost two years.

It's time to deal with the fact that I don’t need to live close to every single subway line and be able to walk home safely during shady hours of the night in a well lit touristy area. There are more important things I want now like a bigger room, a closet, the ability to sprawl out in my bed without my feet touching the opposite wall.

My parents have a hard time accepting the fact that I'll be moving out of Manhattan this summer. Probably because the only references they have to other boroughs come from movies.

I know every time I mention moving to Brooklyn my Mom’s mind goes right to Ghost and “Willy, Prospect Place Willy?”

Of course when I was little I thought everything in Manhattan was exactly as it appeared in Crocodile Dundee. But, that's a whole other post.

From: ♥Filthy™

Date: Apr 6, 2007 12:59 AM

Subject: to the girl who steals stuff off my page

YOU SUCK AND I WANT TO STEP ON UR FOOT AND SQUISH UR TOES!!!!
and ur HATER EMAILS ABOUT HOW IM SUCHA HOMEWRECKING WHORE ARE FUCKING SILLY CUZ ITS OBVIOUS U DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK UR TALKING ABOUT! GO WORK ON UR OWN DAMN LIFE SHIT!

I was actually clicking on a "real" friend's bulletin but opened this instead. So glad I did.

*************************
There's fun picture of me in The Apiary as Leibya Rogers.

I'm performing as her in The Shark Show's Funny Battle of the Bands

this Saturday
Mo Pitkins
8pm

Her EP is almost done and I've finally set a date for a solo show for her (with some special guests of course) June 7th.

New Best Night Ever podcast is up:



************************

I was thumbing through an old notebook and found a bunch of entries titled "Male Comic Quotes" I used to, and I admit still do, write down things male comedy people say to me that frustrate/annoy/entertain me.

Here are a couple of gems:

"Well the men are laughing cause they want to fuck you, and the women are laughing cause they have vaginas too. It's a win, win for you."

"You know what you need to do, show more cleavage."

"Don't do songs with guitar. People are going to think you're a prop comic. Sarah Silverman does songs, find another niche."